Defensiveness implies protecting ourselves from a perceived threat. The universal tendency is to try to “save face” by defending our presenting self when we perceive that it has been attacked by what social scientists call “face-threatening acts.” Frequently, this results in creating a climate which leads to a negative defensive spiral. Do this assignment in terms of your relationship with your semester person.
Discuss the following in your paper:
1. Explain who tends to be defensive: yourself, the other person, or both?
2. Explain what topics, issues, and/or concerns trigger this defensiveness.
3. Explain the consequences of defensiveness–How does it affect resolution, for example?
4. Label the defensiveness with the type of climate according to one of the six Gibb categories.
5. Explain what you could do to create one or more of the opposing supportive communication climates.
6. Explain how the defensiveness could be tamed. If you are not the one being defensive, consider the techniques you could use to address the defensiveness as explained in the text.
Remember you can only influence others, but you can change yourself. The focus of this paper is on your defensive behaviors and/or how you deal with defensiveness from others. This paper is not a ‘complaint’ paper about your partner and his or her issues nor to talk about what he or she should do differently. You may choose to discuss this paper with your partner like you have with the others, but are not required to do so. If you do so, then you could share thoughts that your partner has for improving his/her defensive behavior or responses to you if you are the defensive one.
Again refer to the syllabus and essay rubric for all essay requirements. Paper should be at least two pages.
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